 Feb 15, 2010
 at 9:31 AMTears streaming down my face Yes...those are all empty promises... It's my fault for believing you... All those wonderful plans we had for the 2nd day of CNY were destroyed mercilesslyby you... - On Valentines' day, You said you were busy visiting your relatives' home til late (ya...that's tiring...i agree) Trying to be an extremely understanding girlfriend of your i had chosen to accept the "reason" you provided to excuse yourself... But unexpectedly...you went over to your friend's house for gambling session after a busy day of house visiting.... Do you know what is running through my mind this moment? You WOULD RATHER meet your friends than me on a SPECIAL occasion like this? - utter DISAPPOINTMENT you left me speechless... - I tried hard not to be over-sensitive over this matter... I even tried to find a valid excuse for you to convince myself... (it's RB's birthday, as a best friend you should celebrate it with him...) But...i m your girlfriend and it's valentines' day...where are you? welll...that hurts... Avoiding creating a big hoo-ha out of it and spoil your day, i keep mum about my feelings and i admired myself for saying this to you "enjoy your night my love,hope to see you tml"... - You didn't even bothered to reply me... (it's normal...cause you had never bothered to response to my msges) I decided to ring you up to ask about the plan for the 2nd day of CNY... yes...'m glad that you answered my call... and i heard female voices... I asked about it... "friends" is stated in your reponse and your tone of voice tells me that i m an irritant to you I swollow that pain once again...and console myself... asking myself not to think so much... anyway you had promise me stay sober, go home about 6am, wake up at 9am and get our "plan for the day" going on.... well...then...just have a good night sleep and i would able to see you tmorrow... - At about 2am++, didn't really fall into deep sleep and was awaken by the ringing of my message tone... Is it you? No...it was my ex...he was drunk and send some nonsensical messages to me... (we broke off for years...he was just reminiscing on past love...) the clear-cut "make-thing-clear-to-him" message was send wrongly to you... and you suspected me of having a scandalous affair... how could this ever be possible? 24/7 with you, the percentage of me being scandalous was far way below... I hurried an explanation to prevent further misunderstandings... - send you another message @ 6am to check if you are home no response either... - Morning call at 8.30am... no response... Dialed your house number, mummy says you haven't been home from last night til now... I went panicked Asked mummy for RB's number but she initiated to call instead... No choice but to agree with it... Mummy call back minutes later, saying that you are dead drunk and told me not to wake you up... I was devastated... - I found myself drowning in my own tears... Unstoppable I called you umpteen times, hoping that you would answer... but you didn't... Overwhelmed by sadness, disappointment, and that kind of indescribable pain It was unbearable... A sudden implusive thought came along would it be happier to be your friend than your girlfriend? cause what you have done set a thought in me that friends stand at priority... - Suddenly, my phone rang... saw your name appearing on it, i answered immediately... Yes, that drunkard voice...(seriously, i detest it to the core...) asking me to go over your place to be your alarm clock... If i've got nothing on, i willingly would... but please spare a thought for me, i still have plans to fulfil... (i have to go my grandma's place, even it's without you) - Questioning thoughts overwhelmed my mind Send you several messages asking you, " was it an awful trick you played on me to make me leave you for good" "did you ever love me before?and or even now?" *Once again, all left Unanswered* - Checked with mummy, you fell asleep @ abt 10am (you to skipped my relatives' visiting session, How nice?!) - Was at my grandma's place and everybody keep asking about you and ask about how did i actually spend my Valentines' day... Holding back my tears while racking my brain to come up with a bunch of stupid excuses to avoid ruining that wonderful image you had in them... - What you have left in me was a painfully unforgettable Valentines' and CNY... Thanks for this very "wonderful gift" ---------------- p/s: i wonder why i didn't choose to leave you in the end... Love, indeed, causes blindness... - The ONE and ONLY last chance that i would ever give you... please cherish it, if you love me... With Love,
Regina |
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